I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
