One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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