Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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