atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
