Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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