I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
