Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
