like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
