Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
