I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All I want is dick and wine.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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