I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
