Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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