I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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