I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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