tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
