im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You can't just leave with hair like that
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
