Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
