I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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