Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
