Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
