You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
