There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
