triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
