I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
