I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
