why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
