Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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