Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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