there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Houston, we have a blender
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
