Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
