Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
