Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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