She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
