My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
then he tried to convert me to islam
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize