Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
