Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
