You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
