Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
