my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
