Having a random hookup so left but love u
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
