I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
