I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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