The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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