Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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