Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
