Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
