I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
