Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
