gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
