oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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