and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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