i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
