too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
