he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am available for nakedness
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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