hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
