The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
