i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Boobs are out for the taking
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
