I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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