anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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